For the last two years I have been writing a book on intimate relationships: My mission with this book is to transform people's lives, and the world of relationships; to create love and connection, rather than dysfunction and destruction. 

It's funny though, the more I write in that book, the more I have the desire to delete it all. 

Why? Well the more I write, the more I recognise the amount of bullshit reasons and excuses (some more severe than others) we all put in front of something so natural and so simple. A loving relationship doesn't require (for the most part) trying or learning new skills, love is effortless, it's what we are born to do. 

It is the most natural thing on the planet. 

So why write a book? Why give people more knowledge on how to create loving and fulfilling relationships? 

Well, I believe wholeheartedly in developing awareness - more specifically awareness of who we are being in the world, our behaviours and actions (or lack of) and how we can change who we are being at any moment, should we choose to. 

For the last three years that I have been with my now Fiancé, I have developed a level of awareness of who I am and what drives my behaviours and actions whilst interacting with the woman I love. It has been eye opening to say the least, and at times pointing to truths that are hard to swallow. 

What amazes me the most is the amount of times I have put imaginary obstacles and blocks in the way of the love that could so easily be experienced.

Fear has made a coward of me on many occasions, pointing my focus toward what I am getting, or not getting from my relationship; if I feel I am in lack, then I retract slightly, reducing the amount that I give through the fear of being hurt. 

The obstacles and blocks I choose to place in the way, are chosen from an overthinking mind, one that is crowded with fearful thoughts. 

So here's what I know to be true:

Most relationships fail, or are dysfunctional because of most people's lack of awareness of their fear, and the fearful thoughts that are driving their actions and behaviours. They aren't aware of the choices they are making; they certainly aren't aware that those fearful thoughts are mostly imaginary and that they do not have to act on those fearful thoughts. 

Because of this knowing I want to share a three step process to solve your relationship problems forever, it is a simple process- simple to understand, but sometimes not very easy to implement. 

Love maybe intrinsic and naturally present in each of us, but it takes tremendous amounts of courage for us to allow it to be present in our lives on a day to day basis. 

This is the most important thing to be aware of: love takes courage. 

The more we practice allowing love in our lives, the more courage we develop. 

It's like facing any fear in life: jumping from airplanes, public speaking, holding a spider, being in the same room as a spider- the more we do something the more comfortable we become with that something. 

The more we feel fear and act from love anyway, the more courage we develop. 

Here are three steps that you can implement today, to begin transforming your relationship: (warning: it takes a willingness for you to take full responsibility for your relationship and your ego may not like that). 

Step One - Develop Your Self Awareness: 

Self-awareness is one's ability to be introspective, to recognise one's own thoughts and feelings, and the actions that may follow. 

Meditation is powerful because meditation is simply observing your thoughts and feelings, and doing absolutely nothing about them. 

For example, throughout a meditation it is likely that from our 21st century mind we will experience a thought come up about what we should or shouldn't be doing with our time instead of sitting doing absolutely nothing. We will fear not being busy, and a thought will present itself to get us up and moving: “how long has it been?”, “I need to get up and do something”. 

The test presents itself, and our one and only job is to observe that thought and do absolutely nothing about it. The awareness is the most important thing. 

Now- meditation is a breeze compared to actually being with another human being who may trigger us into fear based patterns of thought. 

So take the skills of observation from meditation, and practice that observation whilst interacting with the one you love the most- watch your thoughts and feelings that surface through your time together, watch how they may influence your interaction. 

 Step Two- Make a choice: 

Unlike meditation where the only thing you have to do is absolutely nothing. A relationship often requires you to do something, whether that be speaking loving and empowering words, responding to something your lover has said, giving affection, instigating a passionate sexual experience, or simply listening to them. 

How you do these things is your choice, but because of our often habitual patterns of thought, we make choices based on fear, like holding back the words we want to say, or the passion we express. 

Or not listening deeply because we are too busy with our own thoughts of being right, or wanting to impose our ideas onto them. 

So we must make a choice to break the patterns, and the habits we have allowed to be created over time; we must make a new choice in every moment that we are aware that it is important to do so (which is every moment in case you were unsure). 

Choose to speak loving and empowering words to your loved one even when you are scared of the vulnerability it requires, choose to listen with utmost presence even when you feel the need to control the direction of their thoughts and choices, choose to create passion even if you feel the fear of rejection. 

Lead the way with love. 

Step Three- Allow Love To Flow:

The love we experience in our lives is often a direct representation of what we allow ourselves to experience. 

In other words if we feel we deserve to experience love, then we shall experience it on a deeper level. 

We know this because when we feel low in self-love we allow very little love into our lives, and we certainly don't allow ourselves to give love to others, we are far too self-absorbed for that. 

Allowing is self-love. 

We all deserve to experience love, we all deserve to feel the fulfilment of giving love to others. We all deserve to receive love too. 

Step three is about getting out of own way and being the love that we are. 

You alone are responsible for the love you experience in your relationship. 

It's time to take on that responsibility, no longer pointing the finger of blame, no longer blaming others for your lack. 

It's time to step up, and to love full out. 

It's time to allow yourself loving relationships. 

Would you like support on this process? 

I am an expert at transforming relationships, I help people take their intimate relationships from average to great, or from great to excellent. 

If you are interested in creating relationship fulfilment, then lets a have a powerful conversation that will help you do just that. 

Send me an email - george_howard.inspire@yahoo.co.uk