01 June 2015

Why I Won’t Settle.

What are you settling for in your life?

For a while now, I’ve been a bit of a “flitter”. One minute I’ll have an idea, put it into action, then a couple of weeks later, realise it’s not what I want and it isn’t bringing me happiness or it isn’t my passion and I’ll move on to something else.

Call it a lack of commitment, or quitting if you like, but I call it not settling for less than I deserve for myself and others.

I’m all for hard work, but I won’t do things I don’t like. Not for very long anyway.

The thing is, we get one life. One single life in which everyone tries to make it into something serious and scary. The question I ask is why would anyone want to live their one life in a serious, fear-filled way. (When I say fear-filled I don’t mean out of your comfort zone, I mean living in fear so you don’t go out of your comfort zone and you settle for less than what you really want.)

When you don’t do the things society expects of you, you come across a lot of resistance – Your own nervousness, insecurities and fear, other people’s opinions and judgement, new challenges to overcome and a lot to learn to move toward what you do want. This resistance is what people avoid their whole lives, it’s a feeling they suppress everyday.

Society wants you in a comfort bubble where you don’t ask questions and you do exactly what people tell you is right for you. The thing is – this stability that people feel from having a solid income and a roof over their head doesn’t always make a “good life”. People start to resent it. They want to step out of the comfort that comes from it, they want to step away from the mundane and the lack of passion that drives their lives.

Life is a series of experiences, not all good, not all bad. But we should ride through it, enjoying every moment, relishing in the experiences we choose for ourselves. (Yes we choose for ourselves).

Your present moments make your past, and you are responsible for every moment of your life, you can choose exactly what path you take.

Only you know what is right for you. The more you follow that, the happier your life will be.

The thing what people don’t realise is that when they are doing things they don’t like, or even hate like a mundane job just to get money is that it starts to effect the people around them as much as it does them. Sure you are putting bread on the table and keeping a roof over your families head and that’s great, you are taking responsibility for the people you love.

But what about the rest of your life? Are you spending quality time with the people you love being around? Or are you coming home from work in a grump, only sparing enough energy to turn the television on and flick through the channels? Where’s the excitement? Where’s the passion for life? Where is that energy and sense of fun you had as a child?

When you don’t follow your passions and live to what is true to you, it starts sapping your energy or life force bit by bit. You become a shadow of the person you used to be, and the people you love are having to deal with that version of you and so are you.

I don’t settle because freedom and choice is important to me, I don’t settle because I want to be the best version of myself. I don’t want to show the world, or the people I love a passionless, energy drained, robot.

I want to create a life of great experiences and beautiful memories. Even if it seems absolutely mad to others, or even me. If I feel there is a better experience or memory for me to create I rip away from the thing I don’t enjoy and chase those experiences.

It’s not smooth sailing at all, it brings challenges. But I know one thing is true. I’m happy to face them if it means living my passions and being my true self.